It's Never Too Late to Say Thank You
Gina Hamadey spent a year writing thank you notes- one per day- and wrote about it in her book I Want to Thank You. The first month happened because she had just over 30 notes to send as a thank you for a specific event and with that stack finished, she thought ‘I’ve written 31 cards and it’s January 31st. I’ve written a thank you note for every day this year. What if I keep it up?’
For the rest of the year, each month was themed Neighbors, Home, Career, Family, etc. and I won’t go into the details of the impact that focus on gratitude had on her, because she tells the story so well in the book (and on The Today Show, if you want a sneak peek). But one thing that’s stuck with me since her book release is how much it meant when she sent and received belated thank you notes.
One example Gina shared was a note from her friend thanking her for cereal bowls gifted from her wedding registry. With a picture of the last bowl from the registry, her friend wrote “Well, we’ve come to the end of an era. This was the last of the 10 cereal bowls you got from our registry for our wedding. you know my love of cereal runs deep and losing these bowls is nothing short of devastating. No bowl I’ve bought since compares. I love you and will still always think of you as I eat cereal, even without the bowls”
Now, had that note come within fourteen days of the wedding, it would be polite, but to know that something you gifted a loved one has held a meaningful spot in their life for a decade is really saying something.
In I Want to Thank You, she writes, “Thank you note etiquette rule number one almost always involves timing- that notes should be sent out within a week or two and always within a month… But a full nine months in, I understood that what worked for those transactional notes didn’t apply to more enduring expressions of gratitude. For those thank yous, a delayed letter means more.”
For someone who tends towards anxiety and introversion, this section of the book, more than any other, gave me the permission I (thought) I needed to express the gratitude that would pop up whenever I thought of someone from my past, but was too afraid to contact because too much time had passed.
If there’s someone you’ve been wanting to thank, consider reaching out.
“There’s no statute of limitations on thank you notes. In fact, your thank you note means more, the more time that’s gone by.”
Just a bit more: when hearing about this project I thought, ‘I’d run out after, like, seven people.’ If you’re thinking that, or maybe you’re a skimm-before-you-reader, OR! you’re still interested in this whole idea of expressing gratitude but haven’t received a gift from anyone in a while, here’s how she breaks down the year into chapters: